The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
