why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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