it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
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The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
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There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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