But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
