It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
