called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
