i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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