I love black thongs
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
