the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
