I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
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My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
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this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure