Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Randomize