I think im going to throw up on grandma
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.