so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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