New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
