:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
