i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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