Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Screwed.edu
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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