Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
