he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize