Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
