Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
