You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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