planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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