did you get engaged???
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
