covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
we should paint friendship bongs
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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