yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
