We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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