Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
