Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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