I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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