Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
