You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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