Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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