Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
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