is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
