allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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