I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
