so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just want to make out with him forever
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
