Having a random hookup so left but love u
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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