I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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