Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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