Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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