You're so nebulous sometimes
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
