Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
