I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize