i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
