I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
How naked do you want me to be?
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