took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
