The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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