My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
