theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
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Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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