If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Bring me that man meat
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
