I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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