I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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