Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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