I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
