You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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