We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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