"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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