I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
