It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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