He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
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He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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