White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
