I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
This baby is an asshole
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
