I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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