Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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