so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
