the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
50% drunk capacity currently
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize