I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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